It is HARD to have a new baby in the middle of cold and flu season, and even harder when the holidays are coming up. Large family gatherings, passing the baby around, cute pictures with cousins holding the baby all seem so picturesque.
BUT - You are feeling anxious because you know pertussis (whooping cough) rates are high this year, it’s RSV season, and that influenza can be a big deal in babies. And even a little cold can make your baby very sick. So what do you do?
This is your chance to start setting boundaries for your family.
No matter what family dynamics have looked like in the past, you get to reframe in the setting of your new mamahood. I’m a big believer in mom gut, and that you know what’s best for your family - as long as you discard what everyone else expects of you. The sooner you shed other people’s expectations in your journey as a mom, the better.
I’m giving you emotional permission to say NO. You are under no obligation to take risks you don’t feel comfortable with. So use the holidays as an opportunity to root down into your mama intuition and decide what’s best for your family, including your little new baby.
To help you decide, here are a few things to consider:
How important is the event/meeting/gathering to you?
Once in a lifetime events like weddings might be a high risk, but potentially worth it in the long run.
Is this maybe your last chance for baby to meet Grandma Ruth? Maybe prioritize a smaller meeting instead of the whole family gathering
If you don’t want to go…don’t. A new baby and the stress of travel is a perfect excuse to have a cozy holiday at home if that’s what sounds best to you!
Take into account:
size of gathering
number of children (especially kids in school or daycare)
whether you are you staying in a house with a lot of other people
car travel or flying…all of these make a big difference in the amount of risk involved.
If you have a newborn, I'd probably skip large gatherings with lots of children. They are notorious for carrying lots of germs. They also aren't great about simple precautions like covering a cough and washing hands. Toddlers often have at least one finger in a nostril at all times. That's fine, but it's just a lot of extra risk.
Will your family take reasonable precautions like getting vaccinated for pertussis and influenza, as well as letting you know about any runny nose/cough/any symptoms at all?
If this is a resounding NO, then it may not be worth the risk while your baby is very young and vulnerable (especially in the newborn stage).
What do I recommend? Let everyone know ahead of time what your plans and concerns are, and give them an opportunity to get on board.
See the example letter I’ve drafted for you below! Download it as a PDF or
Remember, this season won’t be forever. Your baby will be bigger, stronger, and more able to handle getting sick before you know it. So there’s no rush. It’s ok for your world to be small right now. It will grow again soon!
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